You walked through life, holding hands tightly. You divided any hardships in half, and increased joy. But suddenly a black cat ran between you. You miss your meetings, long telephone conversations, cozy evenings together and fun walks. How to return a friend or girlfriend? How to restore a strong friendship?
How to get your best friend back
Think about what could have caused your break. Remember how you treated your friend. Perhaps you only wanted returns from him: that he acted solely as a vest, listen and comfort you, forgetting about his own problems.
Perhaps you did not notice or did not want to notice that something happened to your friend, did not help him, did not support him in a difficult moment for him.
If you find a reason in yourself, try to change your attitude towards a friend. Demand less attention to yourself, spend more time on his problems. Offer a helping hand to solve them. Charge your friend with confidence and good mood. Make it clear that together you will succeed.
Have an evening of revelation. In a relaxed atmosphere, talk with your friend, discuss the problems that are in your relationship. Do not shout at a friend, do not blame him for everything.
To bring a friend back, think and reason soberly. Only in this way will you be able to make the right decision, find out the true cause of the gap. It may turn out that the disagreement is very insignificant, that it is worth forgiving each other and continuing your friendship.
Do not dedicate anyone to your situation with another. These are your problems, and it is only up to you to solve them. Moreover, apart from the two of you, no one will be able to understand this matter better. The referee is good at football, not against two people.
Show a sense of tact and respect for the experiences of your friend. Do not rush things. Give your friend time to think it over. Ask him how to get his best friend back. He will understand that his opinion is important to you and will tell you how to earn his trust.
Show your friend how dear he is to you. Write him a letter in which you tell him about your feelings and feelings.
Arrange for him a day of remembrance, go to the places where you used to be together, watch a movie whose heroes you once imagined to be, play computer games together that you played in your childhood. To bring a friend back, remind him that you love him very much and value your friendship.
Having lost and regained a best friend, you will become more appreciative of your relationship. They learn from mistakes, and your friendship passed the test of separation, which means that it has become even stronger and more reliable!
How to get your best friend back
The most important thing is to understand why your quarrel or your distance from each other began. In any case, usually always two are to blame. Understand what exactly happened in your relationship and correct it.
If this is due to a transitional age, or rather because of mood swings, rudeness or anger, then try to change yourself for the better or tell your best friend about it. Thus, you can not only return your girlfriend. but also help ourselves.
Each person should have his own personal space. Sometimes this is not understood by many people who do not know how to return their best friend. Your girlfriend is not your property.
No need to cross the relevant boundaries. In the end, everyone wants to spend time surrounded by diverse people. Do not think that if a friend spends his free time not only with you, it means that he does not appreciate or dislike you. And sometimes it’s also necessary to rest from each other.
Conversation is what will be of great benefit during an argument. Just don’t get excited, try to restrain your emotions, if your girlfriend’s behavior touched you somehow. Tell us that you really do not have enough of her, that person who always listens and gives good advice is missing. In general, show your tenderness towards your girlfriend.
Do something nice for your best friend. Remember what your best friend loves, what she likes, what she long wanted to get. You can also call to a place that reminds you of your friendship, evokes shared memories.
Spit on your pride! In most cases, friends quarrel and do not talk afterwards only because these two are proud people. Understand that friendship with a best friend is more important than your pride and pride. You’ll never throw your best friend out of life.
How to regain a friend’s trust
It is very difficult for all of us to regain trust after betrayal. Can loyal trust be restored at all? We will talk about this below.
It should be noted that trust between close people is a very subtle matter. And the balance in the relationship is broken mainly due to rash words or actions, which as a result gives a kind of crack. And in order to return to its former warmth, you will need to make some efforts, and it is desirable on both sides.
Very often, we begin to wonder how to return a friend or girlfriend after a disaster. Perhaps your girlfriend, having lost confidence in you, experiences anger, resentment, fear and sadness.
Basically, this negativity manifests itself after it convicts you of betrayal or something so unpleasant. Such situations are very unpleasant and difficult for both parties to experience, even if you sincerely repent and decide to make amends.
And to return a friend and her trust you will need to go through several stages, while some of these stages are difficult to overcome without the help of your girlfriend.
First of all, you need to carefully think about what happened so that your friend accepted this case as a betrayal. Perhaps you justified yourself by doing this completely by accident.
Very often, we act one way or another because we envy a person, want to hurt him, and if you betrayed your girlfriend precisely because of such feelings, then you should not return your friendship.
To return a friend or girlfriend, you should apologize to them and no longer get involved. Indeed, it is difficult to make friends with feelings like envy or a desire to cause trouble.
Well, if it was a misunderstanding, and you repent of what you have done, then you can regain the trust of a friend only by honestly talking to her. We advise you to truthfully tell your friend about what made you act one way or another.
Sometimes, offended by our close friends, they simply ignore us, and this is natural, because they are angry with us. In such cases, it is better to write a letter and send it by mail or email.
In your letter, tell your friend that you regret what you did, do not justify yourself with anything, you cannot blame circumstances, bad mood or other reasons for what you did. Be sure to promise your friend that you will not repeat such mistakes and sincerely ask her to forgive you. Perhaps, having understood you, she will forgive and accept you.
How to establish and maintain a complex relationship
People are social beings. Quarrels and conflicts, when they are not pathological and destructive to life and health, are a normal side of society. Why do people quarrel and do not want to continue communication? This is due to the divergence of views or opinions and their sharp condemnation from the outside. In this case, one of them decides to remain with his opinion, while ceasing all interaction.
What if people look at the world differently, but respect each other and the friendship between them has collapsed due to a dispute?
Usually the desire to restore communication comes when, after a while and “letting off steam” people start to miss a loved one and regret the words spoken in their hearts. After that, the person already internally decided to establish a connection. Find a reason to meet with a friend and offer to speak frankly. During the conversation, you should avoid the topic, which served as the subject of a quarrel, because the purpose of the meeting is not to find the truth, but to return the old friendship. Do not even think about the subject of a quarrel. Instead, offer to share thoughts and feelings about the disagreement - declare your sincere desire to make peace and allow another to do the same. You should not keep mutual insults due to the fact that once you did not agree. Draw a clear line between how you look at things and who you are for each other. After all, friendship is not mutual satisfaction of needs, but unconditional acceptance of a person with all its shortcomings.
What to do when friendship breaks offense
It so happens that the relationship between friends ends when one undeservedly, succumbing to emotions, offended the other. In this case, the friend may not want to get in touch, and all attempts to apologize to him may lead to failure. In this case, the first thing to do is wait the time. Such an approach will help a person who feels offended to calm down and look at the situation from the other side.
Do not put pressure on a person, trying with all his might to make him start to communicate. When someone makes a choice in the direction of the cessation of interaction, apparently, at present this is the way out of the situation that suits him the most. To give him such a right means to show respect for his nature.
You can decide to share your thoughts with a friend. Tell him that you are very sorry to lose relations with him, mention that you understand his feelings and resentment, and add that you are ready to wait for him to want to reconnect. Such a position will help to reflect on the value of relationships and believe in sincere repentance. Perhaps, after a while, depending on the strength of the offense, he will really be ready to establish a connection.
Take the first step
If you want to make peace, you need to take the first steps. Do not wait until she calls or writes. If it is difficult to visit or dial a number, write an SMS or a social network.
The message or communication should begin in a friendly tone, do not remind of disagreement in views.
You can write banal things: “Hello, how are you?”, Or simply: “Hello, let's have some coffee tonight.” If the insult is not too great, after such words she will forgive.
You can even pretend that nothing happened and just continue the conversation. Usually, if the friendship is strong, everything will go by itself.
Because of the conflict, it hurts not only you, but also your girlfriend. She also wants to return everything back. In this case, the main thing is not to be silent. If you want to be friends, suppress your pride, call, talk to her and the relationship will improve.
How to apologize and get in touch
A sincere apology can greatly help restore lost friendships. The place and time for apology must be chosen appropriate. Do not do this by phone or in SMS correspondence. It is better to meet in person to give a person the opportunity to personally assess the sincerity of repentance.
The conversation can be started with the words "I want to apologize for ...", "I'm sorry," please forgive me. " Forgiving forgiveness can help feedback from the person who apologizes. This means talking about a friend’s feelings: “I understand how painful (unpleasant, insulting) it was for you to hear (or see) that ...”. Such words will let the offended person understand that you really understand his condition.
Sometimes a petty quarrel does not even require the word "sorry". Disagreements and disagreements, different views - this is something that does not require an apology.
But if there was any action with which you affected the feelings of the girl, you must apologize. And do it personally.
No need to write sms, on facebook, or call and throw two words “forgive me”. Buy your favorite treat, come to visit her without an invitation. When she opens the door, smile, hug her and ask for forgiveness. Girls melt from various cute things. And for a delicious cake or sweets together, laugh at your grievances.
The main thing is to apologize sincerely. And in the process of conversation to find out all the contradictions so that there is no omission.
Psychology of personality will help to find an approach
Each person has character traits that make it possible to find an approach to him. Knowledge of personal psychology can greatly facilitate the task of restoring relationships. Depending on what personality qualities a friend has, the ways to achieve forgiveness will be different.
When a person has an open character and sociable temperament, to make peace with him, you can have a secret party in his honor, where you can invite mutual friends and acquaintances. Most likely, he will be glad of such a surprise. At the end of a noisy meeting, you can talk heart to heart, explain everything and apologize.
In the case of a friend with a secretive character and sensitivity, you should make an appointment in a quiet place and ask for forgiveness. Be prepared for what is possible, he will not be able to forgive immediately, it will take time. In this case, it’s worth the wait in order to improve relations.
Admit your guilt
If you are to blame, be sure to tell about it. This will melt the heart of a friend and allow you to look at you with different eyes. After the girl says that she is wrong, the relationship is established. After all, she remained the leader and formally “won” your quarrel.
Even if your girlfriend is wrong and guilty, but you want to keep friendship, say that you made a mistake. So settle the conflict. But do not overdo it: a friendship in which one eternally “swells” for another and takes the blame, cannot live long.
Make a habit of being psychologically flexible
The ability to adapt to the particular character of another is an important quality that helps not only to make new friends, but also to establish old connections. This ability is called psychological flexibility. It is useful where the ability to understand the nature of the partner is required - whether it be a friend, lover or colleague.
The habit of being psychologically flexible means the ability to prevent conflicts where they can arise: during a quarrel, focus not on proving the truth, but on the value of the relationship - then you won’t have to risk friendship. Communicate with a person based on his temperament - do not respond with aggression to aggression and often put yourself in the place of your opponent to understand how to respond, in order to smooth out the conflict.
Remove the cause of the quarrel
You will swear as long as there is a reason.
The most common causes are: jealousy, envy, conflicts over guys and husbands.
Try to make sure that she is not jealous of you to her boyfriend, do not give her any reason. Do not flirt with him, behave as discreetly as possible. If you see a girlfriend envious of your wealth or career, never tell her about it. Do not underline your status, do not show off.
Equal, friendly, clean relations, sincerity on your part will help you maintain friendship.
The rumors arising from husbands and young people are complex. Sometimes after them, friendship never returns. But here you need not choose: husband or girlfriend, but clearly set your priorities and talk with her. You need to explain to her about your feelings, to be as sincere as possible. She must understand if a real girlfriend.
If your friend was wrong, but you don’t want to lose friendship, sincerely forgive her. Then everything will become clear to you: you will know that you need to make peace with her. After all, the heart tells you so.
Having no grudges against the girl, you will easily be able to renew friendships.
Make a surprise
If you want to make peace, and your girlfriend is not easy, you can’t take her by apologizing and coming to visit her - give her a surprise. Buy the gift she dreamed about, invite her to a good cafe, to the cinema, for shopping. But all this should be arranged very nicely, for girls, so that she would not just agree, but melt away.
For example, you know that a girlfriend has a sick grandmother in the hospital - visit her, she does not have time to pick up the child from the garden - warn her friend and pick up the baby.
From time to time, everyone may quarrel with their best friend, and it may seem to you that you have lost him forever. Ultimately, to everyone’s happiness, best friends make peace because they care about each other. Maintain a positive attitude, even if the situation seems unsolvable to you. By making an effort, you will be able to return your best friend, even if there was a dispute between you, a friend met someone new, or left.
Discuss your problem
- Say: "You are like a sister to me, so separation from you hurts me."
- If your friend spends a lot of time with a new friend or partner, let him know that you also want a little attention. Explain to your friend that you understand that a new person is important to him, and emphasize that you are not trying to separate them. Say, "I'm glad you found the person who makes you happy. I just miss you."
- Be honest with your friend, even if you feel embarrassed. You could say: "It has been very hard lately because you are my best friend. I’m used to talking every day, but lately it seems to me that you are too busy for me."
Do not make assumptions. Do not be too intrusive. Есть несколько причин, по которым ваш друг может уйти от вас, поэтому не думайте, что несколько оставшихся без ответа сообщений или пропущенных встреч означают, что вы потеряли своего лучшего друга. Возможно, он переживает напряженный период или ситуацию, которая требует много времени, отчего времени на общение у друга почти не остается.
- Поймите, что в жизни друга могут быть и другие дела, которые не имеют никакого отношения к вам или к другим друзьям.
- If your friend spends a lot of time with someone else, think that the other person can fit into your friend’s life in a way that you don’t fit. For example, your friend and new person may be both from divorced families, may come from similar cultures, or perhaps both should take care of a sick family member.
Sorry. If you did something wrong, an apology is the first step to healing your friendship. The simple word "Sorry" is usually not enough. You must be detailed and specific. Even if you don’t think the quarrel was due to your mistake, you may have to act nobly and be the first to apologize.
- Show a friend that you are aware that you did something wrong and know why it was wrong.
- Say: "Sorry, I forgot about your birthday. I know it was unpleasant for you, because I would be very upset if you forgot about my birthday."
- Avoid statements like "You never listen to me!" Instead, say, "It seemed to me that you weren’t hearing me, and it upset me."
Take responsibility for your actions. When you apologize, resist the urge to explain your behavior. Do not make excuses, no matter how justified what you did or what happened in your life. Nothing justifies the actions that offended your friend, and nothing justifies the actions of the friend that offended you.
- For example, don’t say: “I’m sorry that I forgot about your birthday. I had a busy week and I lost track of the days.” Although these words may be true, they weaken your apology because they show that your actions were justified to some extent.
- Say: "I know what I did was wrong."
Do not look for the guilty. Regardless of who started the quarrel or what was said, focus on moving forward. Think about how much you want your best friend to remain a part of your life, and remind yourself that pointing to who did what will only hurt the situation.
- Avoid saying things like “I'm sorry you feel that way,” because they blame the other person. You tell the person that you are behaving normally, and that he is simply reacting too emotionally.
- If you feel that a friend is unjustly blaming you, say: "I heard that you think it's my fault. Is that true?" If a person says yes, then you can talk about it.
Suggest ways to solve your problems. Talking with a friend will start the process of building relationships, but this may not be enough to fully restore them. Suggest ideas for things you can do together, including the next step. Making friendships requires an effort and your apologies will be more significant if you show your friend that you have a plan.
- Ask a friend to go watch a popular movie together. You can spend time together without waiting for a conversation, and then you will have a common topic for discussion, which will put less pressure on you, without forcing you to look for neutral topics.
Meet new people. Do not rush and try to replace your best friend, begin the process of creating new friendships. Do not rush one-on-one friendship or communication, but be open to meeting other people.
- Join the club.
- Chat with other friends.
- Have a party.
Know when to let go. Sometimes, when someone asks for personal space, he ultimately wants everything to remain so. No matter how hard it is to let your best friend go, you need to move on. Think of it as a learning process that helps you build better friendships in the future. Think about what led to the end of friendship, and use this lesson to choose your friends in the future.
Ignore the gossip. Gossip will only hurt your friendship. If someone is trying to talk badly about your friend, ask him to stop. Do not listen to what other people say that your friend is lying to you. Even if this is true, it will not help you rectify the situation.
- Say, "I am not interested in this."
Sorry and forget. Start with a clean slate. As soon as your problems are resolved, do not continue to punish your friend, behave coldly or constantly raise the topic of his mistakes as a weapon in other quarrels. Release and keep moving forward.
- Focus on the future.
- If you encounter a problem similar to the previous one, give your friend an opportunity to explain instead of rushing to conclusions.
Invite a friend to a group event. When you restore friendships, at first it can be embarrassing. When you spend time in the company of joint friends, it will be easier for both of you to control your emotions. It takes time for the wounds to heal.
- Invite the whole group of friends to go for dinner.
- Browse the upcoming events in your district or school and choose one that is related to common interests.
Understand that a new relationship is inevitable. If your friend met someone new, then this does not mean that your friendship has come to an end. One of you will be the first to find a partner or a new good friend. If your friend does this first, then it may be difficult for you to accept your new momentum, but know that this is happening to everyone.
- Do not consider this a rejection. A friend is not trying to replace you. He just found another person with whom he converges.
- Your relationship may change, but this is not the end.
- Chat with this person. Be open and try to find out. If this is a new guy or girl, be delighted with your friend’s happiness and let him know that he can trust you.
Find new ways to spend time together. If your friend has something happened in his life that does not allow him to talk a lot with you, for example, a sick relative, a new child, or additional duties for work / study, find ways by which you can easily fit into his new routine. As your friend’s life is changing, your time together can also change. Show him that you still fit into his life. Advice
- Make sure your friend knows that you are still thinking about him, although you are trying to give him more personal space.
- If it is you who provoked the conflict, talk with a friend. Tell him the truth. Try to convey that you did not want to offend him.
- Try to look at things from his point of view.
- If a person no longer wants to be your friend, let him go. It will be difficult, but it is for your own good.
- If you think that a friend is angry with you, first ask, only then draw conclusions. Maybe you just need a little break.
- Talk with another person you trust, such as a parent or older brother or sister.
- Show a friend that you really love him.
- Calm down before talking to your friend again.
- Keep in touch with him and remind him that he is your best friend.
- If your best friend has found a new best friend, don't be rude to a new friend. Try to explain to him how you feel and invite them to an event that you can attend all together.
- Do not get annoyed or jealous when confronted with your friend.
- Never intentionally make a friend jealous.
- Do not apologize, only to then ignore your friend.
- If you treat your friend’s new boyfriend / girlfriend very badly, this will only aggravate the situation. If a friend has a new person in his life, he has appeared in your life.
Why was the best friend offended? Before you figure out how to make peace, remember what could have been in your words such that the person you used to be “don't spill water” stopped talking to you. After all, best friends do not pay attention to small jokes, they are offended only by really serious words.
Most often, best friends take offense at mistrust. You have hidden something that a friend simply had to know about. She has thoughts that your friendship is not as strong as it seemed. She takes offense at the fact that she was more frank with you than you. If this is your situation, explain to your friend why you did not share it. Tell us that you have not completely decided on your attitude to the problem, and wanted to tell your friend after you solve it for yourself. Or explain that you were ashamed of your behavior. Although to whom it is impossible to voice their most stupid acts.
Often, best friends are offended by the fact that you began to pay less attention to them. This mainly happens when you have a permanent relationship with a man and your girlfriend is left alone. Try to understand her. You used to always be together, but now you have a couple, and she has lonely evenings and weekends. Do not let your girlfriend get bored. Try to help her arrange her personal life by introducing her boyfriend to friends. Arrange joint gatherings. Well, do not deny your best friend communication. One evening a week can be devoted to your meetings, at which there will be no strangers. You can, as before, chat about everything and remember fun days when you were together much more often than now.
A friend could be offended by anything, but if you want to keep communication, be sure to try to talk. A frank conversation will put everything in its place. Express everything that is in your soul, share your feelings. Let her friend also reveal what is bothering her. You can even cry together - it is very rallying. And always believe that if your friendship is real, then the offense will pass soon, and you will be together again.
Many young people whom the beloved has left ask themselves the question - how to return a girlfriend at all costs. This desire can only make sense if you are sure that the relationship has not come to its end point, and something else can be saved, both on your part and on the part of the girl. How to make an ex-girlfriend come back and restore feelings? There are several steps to help you renew your relationship.
Think seriously about whether you really love, or simply do not want something to change in life. If you are just used to it and do not want to work for a new relationship - there is no point in reviving the old ones. If you really still have feelings, and you suspect that they are from the outside, there is reason to try to return it.
When communicating, never make scenes or demonstrate your weakness. If she sees in you a weak and desperate person, she is unlikely to want to return. Learn to control your emotions, and if you need someone to complain, call a close friend to visit.
I know it hurts a lot if you can’t talk to your best friend anymore, you think your friendship is already dead, but don’t give up! Friendship is selfless and pure, so you have a chance to heal a broken relationship. Take a look at tips to help restore a broken relationship.
1. Do not be selfish
Your ego, arrogance and pride can ruin any relationship. Therefore, do not be selfish in friendship! You must value friendship because it helps you grow in life. If this was your mistake, you must admit it and apologize. If you want to return a friend - do not be arrogant. difficult to recover, but possible.
2. Release the past first
Whatever the reason, don't be afraid to take the first step. It is very important to let go of the past. It could be the fault of both your and your girlfriend. It will be easier to start all over again if you just let go of the past. If you have, then you must do everything possible and impossible to restore the previous trust of a friend.
4. Write everything you feel
One of and express your feelings - write about them. Send a letter or e-mail to your friend. Write your thoughts and feelings about why this happened, what to do about it and why you want to bring it back. Words best describe your feelings. Admitting mistakes and apologies can improve the situation.
5. Don't blame anyone
After you decide to restore a broken friendship, do not look for the guilty. If you start blaming someone, you will only make it worse. Accusations can lead to violent quarrels. Keep calm, let your girlfriend express her feelings, then you will make your friendship even stronger. After all, if not for inner harmony in the soul.
7. Remember the time spent with a friend
The good memories you shared with your best friend will make you bored. This will be a good start to your relationship. If you and your girlfriend think alike, it will be much easier to restore friendship.
I hope these tips help you heal a broken friendship. Do you know other ways? Share with us!