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How to choose the perfect gifts

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To show attention to a person, showing their attitude towards him and make an impression, you can give a gift for a holiday or do it just like that, for no reason. You just need to choose the perfect gift.

It is very important to know who exactly you want to give something to - a girl or a man. The time for presenting a gift can also help you, because it can be a holiday or an ordinary ordinary day. Many say that men do not give gifts, but you have a real opportunity to refute this myth. Not only ladies can be attentive to others.

Holiday Gift Choice

There should not be any problems, but each holiday has its own atmosphere and its own meaning. There are great dates that are not accompanied by gifts at all, but there are those that cannot exist a priori without gifts. Such are, for example, New Year, birthday, Christmas, Easter, wedding anniversary or the wedding itself.

Here it is necessary to give such things that will be appropriate on the topic. If this is a universal holiday such as New Year or birthday, then you can already use the tips for choosing a gift in accordance with the person's gender and age.

As I searched and found the perfect gift

I admit without crookedness: I love this business - to receive gifts! Our family is not rich, but my parents tried as best they could: for every holiday I laid, I always received a gift. However, they usually presented something that was needed: shoes, a schoolbag, clothes, a computer, a bicycle, etc.

In adulthood, I went out with clear mother's attitudes:

  1. A gift should be useful and necessary.
  2. A gift must be given for every holiday, and if possible - just like that. Let it be a pleasant - but certainly NEEDED - trifle than the absence of any gift whatsoever.

A pleasant bonus of this philosophy was the fact that my room was never littered with unnecessary trash: I used everything that I needed and needed.

Just don’t think that I grew up in draconian conditions. Not at all. After all, I had a trouble-free tool - Dad! :)

All gifts from the category of "unnecessary" appeared only because my dad, who could not resist my whining, bought me what I so tearfully requested. Over time, I must admit: NOTHING from the children's “I Want!” Bought under pressure did not bring much joy and benefit. Sorry, dad, for the money thrown away! :)

But I seriously thought about the topic of gifts in the second year of the institute, when, having acquired a more or less constant circle of college friends and stable earnings, I began to buy gifts on my own.

Oh, how I did not like this process! How much effort, time and energy went into finding a suitable gift (we’ll leave the money issue outside the brackets).

My environment was divided into two groups.

Group number one: close people. One way or another, you have some idea of ​​what the native person lives and breathes, what he needs at the moment. With a probability of 70%, I guessed a really cool gift. A 30% miss was made by questions of design, color, taste, etc. In this organizational chain, the greatest effort was spent on finding the right gift on the Internet, running around the city in search of the “same” item, organizing delivery, packaging, etc. Remembering the mother’s mandate, I tried to the maximum extent possible to look for something useful, but “with pearl buttons”.

But even more torment was brought by the people who entered second group: these are unfamiliar people who need to give an appropriate gift on occasion - children of parental friends, neighbors, work colleagues, teachers, trainers, acquaintances with whom you may meet in day-to-day mode, but do not have close contacts .

Having received an invitation to the New Year or a birthday party to such a close friend, you think about a gift. In this case, the process described above is complicated: one more step is added to it - you need to figure out WHAT to give.

In conditions of extreme lack of time (evening studies 4 days a week, work in the "five-day" mode from 9-00 to 18-00 from the first year) and to the same degree of extreme need for money, the need to look for good gifts depressed and tired. I did not want to give “garbage”, which would collect dust on the mezzanines.

It was a dagger with two blades: to the question “what should I give personally to me”, I always answered: “I don’t need anything, just go visit.” And that was the true truth: I tried to buy everything that I needed, on my own and in a timely manner. And what I would like to receive as a gift a car, an apartment, a yacht, diamonds, a burning Italian :) it was indecent to ask. In the end, I got a bunch of things that one way or another do not suit me either functionally or to taste. Not necessary, but good things were a pity to throw out. Redo - not allowed conscience. I had to store all this stuff either in the room, or in the pantry, or on our favorite "rubber" balcony!

The question is a retreat: how many of your friends use the balcony for its intended purpose, and not as a warehouse of unnecessary things? No, not even that, we soften the question: do many of your friends support the ORDER on their balcony so that, for example, they can sit and drink tea, and not hide it behind thick curtains?

Back to the topic.

The worst thing was when it was evident from the gift that the giver did not spare either money or time - he found, bought, packed and proudly presented, alas, the object you did not need.

What a vicious circle: to spend limited resources (time, energy) on waste rubbish, bought with money earned by one’s - God forbid, beloved - work !?

I’m still silent about souvenirs that are carried in kilograms from all over the world. Well, if it is something edible. After a while, even if the yummy was never tested, it automatically throws itself out and thus cleans the space of itself. But what if it is the hundredth T-shirt with the inscription “I love Tver '” or the same super-needed one hundred and twentieth magnet from Antalya? Not only does this clutter up our kitchens and cabinets, but also our caring vacationer could do something nice for himself personally (drink an extra glass of fresh juice, eat an extra portion of mussels, or buy a shirt for yourself, in the end, better and more expensive), he's on vacation! And, by the way, it is a pleasure to give foreign souvenirs - not cheap. A decent amount is ramping up.

I broke the vicious circle when I first thought about the criteria for a perfect gift. First for yourself, of course :)

These rules are based on:

1a. Need: the item should be used by me, if not daily, then at least monthly.

2a. Big price "plug": the item must be provided in different price segments. If a person wants to give me an expensive gift, please buy more. But a budget option should also be available.

3a. Wide availability: The item must be sold freely in any shopping center.

Thus, I had a list of my "gifts" gifts:

1b. Mhowl. There are no preferences at all - any color or smell comes to work. I love to wash with soap and a Japanese washcloth. I’ll sing this beautiful duo, maybe I’ll sing some other time. Bumblebee gels do not respect at all. But my soap is consumed at a rate of a piece per month. You can buy it everywhere. When soap is brought to me as a souvenir, I immerse myself in the atmosphere of that country from which this little miracle was brought to me! I gratefully recall the one who gave me different types of soap for 30 DAYS :) I also had such a case when I received a huge box with a variety of soap as a gift - I had enough soap for several years :)

2b. Tea. Another one of my love. I myself prefer green, but everything is “drunk” in the family :) Tea also satisfies all four of my criteria.

3b. Masla. Any: culinary, aromatic, cosmetic, for oral administration, for massage, etc. I love oils, I know how to "make friends" with them and actively use them.

4b. Munits and all bee products.

I began to actively promote my philosophy. I directly said that you don’t have to bother about a gift - give me something from this list, and it would be better to spend the time that you would spend searching for a gift with your loved one. The first reaction was always stormy, but after the above arguments, the majority agreed with them, and someone even took my rules "into service".

Once again I was convinced that I was on the right track when I came across a historical note that Alexander the Great, who had conquered half the world, was buried with his bare hands: his palms were open and turned up so that everyone could see that he was leaving empty handed.

All these philosophical studies "went" hand in hand with the purification of my living space. As a result, after about a year and a half, the fourth criterion for an ideal gift was born:

4a. the gift should be regarded as a "consumable" material.

The term is taken from accounting (which I love immensely). By that time, I began to closely monitor my personal cash expenditures and draw up my personal balance sheet and income statement (using all accounting principles).

I realized that a decent part of the money goes into everyday life in the most literal sense of the word. Money is earned by the beloved, but still by labor, and is not capitalized, but is leaked by the river for all sorts of everyday needs. The total amount is not at all small: every check of 300-400 rubles “pours out” into fifteen to thirty thousand rubles of monthly household expenses. Some articles of this flood flood are comparable to a normal birthday present. For 2000 rubles, you can buy about 15 kg of good quality washing powder, or, for example, a vegetable “stock” of onions, carrots, potatoes and cabbage, which will last for several months. For those who do not have a summer residence (as in our family), the issue of winter stocks is very relevant, especially at current prices.

Of course, someone may object to me: “You are crazy! Give laundry detergent ?! ”. But this idea seems crazy only at first. If you think about it, maybe you should move a little in your life positions, and then we will all begin to live better: less trash will be in our lives and more clean balconies!

Perhaps I am alone in my beliefs, but for me it is much better and more useful than the cool moleskine leather card holder for “show-offs”, 15 kilograms of good washing powder, which my family and I will have for six months or even more! For the same reason, I am against “eternal” gifts: caskets, figurines, dishes, etc.

So, the fifth item in the top of the best gifts:

5 B. "Cinderella's joys": washing powder, tablets for the dishwasher, fruit and vegetable “basket”, baby food and diapers (for happy parents). This includes gift cards of grocery and manufactured goods stores.

Of course, this list does not cancel the normal verbal communication between two adequate people. At first, I always try to ask a person what gift he expects, what he would like to receive. Praise heaven, among my entourage, more and more people are becoming ready to honestly and openly declare WHAT they want to receive as a gift. And a separate bow to people who “throw” the necessary link where to buy this “SOMETHING”. THANKS for the saved time and nerves! I like to give such a gift, because at a meeting I will definitely have a happy smile for the birthday man, and I will have the strength to rejoice at her :)

For those who like to arrange surprises, I will answer with the old stage proverb: impromptu is only good when prepared in advance. Otherwise - look at your balcony! Until recently, I could compile lists of fans to give me "something like that with pribabah."

But that was not the end of my quest. With the advent of event agencies, I am more and more convinced that the best present is emotions and mood, and even better when these are joint emotions. What could be better than an amazing time spent with a loved one at an interesting job? This also includes one-day seminars and trainings. This development of yourself, and the knowledge of your partner, and teamwork - positive emotions and amazing memories are provided to you. And do not forget to take a joint photo :)

And finally, a drop of drama.

Everything leaves, and everything material becomes unnecessary. How many things do you need for happiness? Agree that very little. I really hope that your parents are alive and well. But the time will come, and they will not be. From experience I can say that a gift is not a “commitment”, it is another chance to build a bridge from your heart to the heart of your loved one.

Recently, my mother and I have a tradition - to make joint “trips” to the restaurant, the museum, the bathhouse on her birthday. This has greatly improved our relationship. Money is spent as much as a real gift, but what a return on these investments!

Speaking of money. For many, they have become a "universal gift." I do not argue, liquidity goes off scale. However, how many percent of this liquidity was spent on really needed and useful? And this is an eternal trap: "Spend on yourself"? Again, from my own experience, I can say “gift money”, as in the cartoon “Golden Antelope”, mixes up with your usual incomes and you can’t separate what is “mine” and what is “yours” there. And gift money donated "for yourself" will drown in a "domestic" stream.

It turns out you presented the same washing powder, but in a hidden form. As they say, the same eggs, only in profile.

I found my solution when they give me a gift with money. I definitely sign them: from whom and on what occasion this money was presented to me. And then I choose for their equivalent some event for myself, or together with the donor. I’m sure to take a happy photo from this event and send it to the person who congratulated me on yet another “Thank you” news. Honestly, people are surprised by this approach. They gave me money and forgot. And they certainly do not expect their “gift” to be so successful!

Let's be easier and more attentive to each other!

Gift for a man

A man can give almost everything. The only thing most men don’t understand is when they are given socks and shaving foam. Try to at least minimize your imagination to give something acceptable.

The perfect gift for a man is functional thing. This thing should be connected with the kind of activity of a man, with his work or hobby. If he loves video games, then this may be some kind of super new gadget. If he likes to mess with his car, then the choice is obvious - give him a set of tools.

The perfect gift for a man is also unexpected gift. It may be something that reminds him of his childhood or some bright event. Experiment and do not be afraid to miss, because it is quite difficult to disappoint a man.

Gift to woman

When a woman gives something to a woman, then there is no need for advice, but if you are a man and ideas do not occur to you, then it is time to use the advice. Psychologists and women themselves say that the perfect gift for the weaker sex does not exist at all. This is a kind of utopia. The perfect gift is a kind of unicorn. He is simply not there.

This is not entirely true, because people are all different, and stereotypical thinking does not lead to anything good. Try to follow the generally accepted pattern:

1. In chronological order, consider the following things:

  • what does she like. Remember what movie she watches, how she dresses, what music she listens to, what style she has, color, and so on,
  • what a hobby she has. This is perhaps the most important moment. Girls have a hobby, treating him very kindly. If you give her a gift related to her passion, then he will have a better chance of becoming perfect,
  • Appreciate her plans for the future. Girls often think about the future. Maybe she wants to have a baby and is really preparing for it, or maybe she wants to change her place of residence or just take a break from everything. Think what can help her.

2. Think about where to get the gift. It can be done with your own hands, which a girl or woman will appreciate. It will be very handy if you want to establish a love relationship with her, for the thing will immediately be associated with you.

3. How to give her what 99% of other ladies do not have. It will impress her so much that she will lose her head. Ladies love to know that they have something that others do not. This gift will be perfect.

4. How to make a gift more creative and unusual. Think carefully about each subtlety to make a good impression.

Remember that in order for the gift to be perfect, it must be unexpected. Do not ask the girl what she wants. Never tell her that you want to make a surprise, otherwise she will not lag behind you with questions, and if you refuse her, she may be offended by you.

To make the gift perfect, remember these four important points. Keep them in your head. Так ваши усилия не пройдут даром. Психология успеха говорит нам о том, что можно потерпеть неудачу даже при выборе подарка самому неприхотливому человеку. Думайте больше о том, как сделать приятно тому, кто вам нравится. Удачи, и не забывайте нажимать на кнопки и

На нашем канале в Яндекс.Дзен всегда самые интересные статьи по этой теме. Обязательно подпишитесь!

What to consider

To make a present correctly, you need to know the person. The longer you know him, the more perfect the presented gift can be. A gift can be a surprise, surprise or a long-awaited thing, a dream item.

What should be the present? A birthday present should be perfect. He must be liked, profitable, make a person happy, or facilitate some kind of action. Of course, everyone has their own ideals, and, therefore, there may be several ideas of gift.

Mommy's joy

Mom’s birthday was considered the most important event for her children for a long time, and perhaps always. If the relationship is close and trusting, it will not be difficult for a son or daughter to come up with the perfect birthday present for mom. Here are a few ideas that can be attributed to those:

  • greeting card, craft, cake made by a child,
  • portrait or pencil drawing,
  • high-quality leather wallet, bag of your favorite color and style with a small present inside (perfume, handkerchief, gloves, cosmetics),
  • certificate in SPA, massage room, to the cosmetologist,
  • decoration engraved with words of thanks,
  • trip to the sea,
  • day spent with mom.

Bosom girlfriend

The girl knows her beloved girlfriend how herself. Usually they have common interests, tastes and preferences. Therefore, the perfect gift for a girlfriend can be safely associated with an ideal for yourself. You need to give a thing by age.

Presentations may be as follows:

  • favorite perfumes and high-quality cosmetics,
  • technical innovations (robot vacuum cleaner, wireless headphones, electric mop),
  • electronic photo frame with memorable moments. You can choose the original version:

Sign of attention of a beloved

Often a young man does not know what kind of surprise his girlfriend will be happy. To make a girl happy for her birthday, you can choose original gizmos that are bright, beautiful and unusual:

  • a bouquet of toys and sweets,
  • flowers
  • a hundred words about love in a festive box
  • jewelry with symbols,
  • romantic dinner
  • fine linen.

Family joys

It’s more and more difficult to please a wife with a suitable little thing every year. We have to make every effort and time to find something new and valuable for her. A perfect birthday present for your wife is possible:

  • jewelry
  • the item of clothing that she had long dreamed about,
  • The latest mobile device
  • romantic trip,
  • subscription to the salon,
  • personal care equipment.

Every woman wants to be a better wife. And the best wives pick the best gifts for husbands. It’s not so difficult to find an ideal husband’s birthday gift if you know his hobbies:

  • certificate for karting, surfing,
  • a rare copy of the book,
  • date in a romantic place
  • branded watches or other accessory,
  • fashion gadget
  • sports equipment, goods for fishing, hunting,
  • DVR, radio,
  • massage chair covers,
  • set of tools.

Gift anatomy

In order to derive the ideal gift formula, one must first examine the experience accumulated by mankind in this field. The motives of the person giving the gift are usually clear: he wants to express his affection or deepen his relationship with the recipient of the gift. If everything is going well, the recipient feels gratitude, intimacy, mutual understanding, surprise and joy. (Yeah, sharing gifts is just social manipulation). When the gift is completely “past the target”, the recipient feels incomprehensible and possibly even offended. How could you think that I would like it?

The ideal gift formula begins to take shape: a small part of the giver (his taste, personality and intentions) + a large part of the recipient (his personality, position in this world and dreams) + the relationship of the giver and recipient (their common memories and interests). The practicality of the gift plays a very small role - therefore, socks are rarely considered a good gift.

Now let's look at the emotional aspects of the donor. First, he needs to decide on a gift idea: pick up hints and write down ideas as they appear. Then you need to develop the idea: look in stores (physically or online) for the right thing that fits into the budget. Next, you can track the delivery (if the item was ordered on the Internet), pack a gift and attach a card that will further open the gift either rationally or emotionally. Further, the donor presents the fruit of his labors in person or remotely and awaits a response.

On this path, the giver goes through emotional ups and downs. Here he lights up with an interesting idea. He is angry that he cannot realize it at the right time or in the right place. Here is tormented by doubts: will he like his gift or not? The recipient of the gift also passes a certain emotional path, and this path ends either with joy or disappointment.

When developing a “generator” of gifts based on artificial intelligence, you can optimize emotional ups and, most importantly, downs with algorithms.

Perfect automated gift

1. Gathering the right information.
To collect the correct information, you can refer to two different types of data: explicit and hidden.

You can get explicit data by asking users questions, for example: “How much do you intend to spend?” Or “For whom do you buy a gift and what do they like?” Of course, you can ask more direct questions: “Does this person like sports?” But in this case, the effect of spontaneity and insight disappears: the result will be predictable and obvious, perhaps even offensive to the user. Questionnaires usually rely on demographics - for example, on the gender or age of the gift recipient - and because of this they give uninteresting results that apply to all representatives of this group. At the same time, the most unexpected ideas lie precisely in the “gray” zones.

Hidden data are those that can be obtained from the digital traces of the user. The best place to search for hidden data in the digital world is the resources on which the user personally selects the content, forming a certain desired image of himself: Instagram, Pinterest and Spotify. (These sites are not entitled to provide third parties access to data - but if they wanted, they themselves could make a cool service with recommendations). This is an excellent source of data, and not only because the collections contain information about the tastes of the user, but also because the user consciously places this information in the public domain.

In addition, there is metadata: geolocation tags or timestamps, which can also serve as hints when choosing a gift. Nevertheless, if a company monitors contextual user signals when interacting with content, this can be regarded as an invasion of privacy. It is equally difficult to find out how close the relationship is between the donor and the recipient. Of course, you can focus on relationships on Facebook, but people do not always communicate with friends and relatives through social networks. Messages on WhatsApp, sms and electronic correspondence - all this is beyond the permissible. So, some part of the information should still come from the user.

So, we are not talking about a completely autonomous solution for choosing gifts. We just need to automate the process that the user will manage.

2. Apply a mixed approach.
If you rely on “clean” information that does not violate the boundaries of the privacy of users, we will receive a list of safe, harmless and boring gifts. But we don’t want to simply delegate the selection of gifts to the car, so that as a result we get dubious results - we need to keep the magic of the process.

The British Argos store has offered an interesting blended approach, combining machine learning and manual gift selection. The process looked like this: first, the user entered a set of key data, based on which the system generated recommendations. Then the user sorted the recommendations (flipped through options as on Tinder, left comments and suggestions) - until he found a suitable option. Unfortunately, this function was disabled, but it was based on an interesting model of learning the algorithm under the guidance of the user.

3. Learning the algorithm.
Our goal is to help the donor quickly find the perfect gift - and reduce the percentage of returns. But there is one important obstacle to this path: we cannot track the joy or disappointment of a gift — it happens outside the digital world. Thus, the algorithm loses the most important performance indicator - and it is precisely this information that is simply necessary for the continuous improvement of its work.

So how to determine how successfully the algorithm coped with the task? You can rely on several factors. Gift returned? Or maybe the recipient boasted it on social networks? You can send the recipient a personal letter asking if you liked the gift. We can also track whether the public status of the relationship between the recipient and the donor in social networks has changed.

Complete success is not only to make life easier for the gift giver, but also to make the recipient truly happy. Without the final data (namely, they will help AI become smarter), we will be doomed to repeat the same mistakes - like all past “gift” AI-based services. Remember that when it comes to learning algorithms, not only thought matters.

Based on a study by Michael Krulvich

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